How do we show we Love them?

We don’t share physical affection much in my home, but writing notes of encouragement is one way my mom has let me know over the years that she loves me. She doesn’t do it often and they are never anything long. Just a short note left on my pillow reminding me how wonderful I am or thanking me for helping her out in some way. I don’t know that she knows how much it has meant to me. Or if she knows that I have kept every single one. This parenting segment has been one of my favorite topics so far. Thinking on my near to perfect parents has helped me come to love and respect them more. And I want to learn all that I can so I can be a positive influence on my kids, like they have been to me.

Councils in the Home

Why is making a decision together important? Elder Ballard gives three reasons: 1. If there is no involvement, there is no commitment. 2. There is no blame whether the results are good or bad. 3. It is easier for others to support that decision. My parents were really good about gathering all of us kids together for family councils on Sunday evenings. They were sure to involve us in decisions and I knew it was a time that I could bring up any issue freely. Believe it or not this tradition is actually one of my happiest memories of growing up. That and family prayer at night were the times that we really bonded as a family. We joke that family council takes three hours :). I don’t know that it is quite that long. But we do get off topic often and just start to joke around. That it always takes longer than it needs to be. I don’t care so much about the “wasted minutes” because they aren’t wasted to me.

Coping with Crises

One of my favorite quotes is from Randy Pausch's book, The Last Lecture. He says, "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand". This applies to life in so many ways, and especially to our discussion topic of family crises and stressors this week. My interpretation: We are in control of how we react to what life throws us. Brother Williams believes that how we respond to a situation defines it. I agree with him. He also gave five categories of how we felt afterwards based on our reaction. They are: "That stunk", "we managed", "it's okay now", "we are better off", and "thank you". The biggest stressor event I've faced happened this summer with my nephew passing away. My family could have grown bitter. We could have grown cold. We could have grown away from eachother. But we didn’t. I am inspired by how my brother and his wife did react. They turned to the Lord with humble hearts, which invited the rest of us to do the same. This crisis which could have very easily been a "that stunk" has turned into a "thank you" for me.

Water Your Grass

Each day I become more surprised at how many topics must be discussed from the very beginning of or even before a marriage. We spent a whole class talking about making clear, firm boundaries around a marriage and discussing a couple of rules that would help prevent infidelity: not being alone with a guy in a car, having a joint facebook account, etc. I never realized how prevalent these issues are. It seems so easy to fall to temptation after all the stories told in class.

Infidelity starts slowly like with everything else in life. It may just be a thought like “oh, I wish my husband would clean the garage as well as ted”. Your spouse cannot be compared like that. It isn’t fair to them and starts you off in a path of infidelity. "The grass is greener…on the side of the fence you water." You have to make sure you spend your times and efforts on tour spouse not on someone else. When we do this your marriage will be more fulfilling. Affairs can be prevented by making boundaries then sticking to them.