How to Stop the Crying Child from Crying

In a newly married family, it is crucial to establish foundations of roles, money, time, expectations, etc. Because how you do things at stage one sets the pattern for your lifelong marriage. One thing that must be discussed is how to deal with conflict/disagreements. We read Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-45 in class as a guide to having a happy home. Verse 43, “reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon the Holy Ghost” was talked about in a way I had never thought of before. We must correct seasonally or at the right time (betimes), with precision (sharpness), and of course only when moved upon by the spirit. Anger for the majority of time is the driving force of correction. The spirit isn’t with us if we’re angry. Just think of how many crying children, broken families, lost friendships, and inactive members would disappear if we were to follow the Lord’s counsel.

“When is the last time you kneeled down to pray before criticizing someone?” -- Brother Williams

Dating to Marriage

Sister Dalton came to speak to us for devotional last week. Of every topic in the world to talk about, she chose to speak about dating. She really emphasized that dating and hanging out are not the same thing. And we must date.

We talked in class today about how dating is a preparation for marriage. Not just that it helps us choose our spouse, it prepares men to be good husbands and fathers. The three roles of a husband are to provide, preside, and protect. While the three aspects of a date are planned, paid for, and paired off. Each one of these correlates with another. Being paired up prepares a guy to be the protector. He of course is to make sure no harm comes to her, but also as a priesthood holder it is his duty to make sure things stay appropriate. The relationship between paid for and provide is pretty self-explanatory. He is to pay for the date and also in the future hold a job to earn a living for his family. The man is also supposed to take the initiative to ask the girl out and plan the date. As a father, it is his role to preside at Family Home Evenings and family councils.

No wonder Sister Dalton decided this was the most important thing to talk about. Dating is critical for making good husbands and fathers out of boys.

What Do You Think?

Women ask more questions than men? Women have a more questioning tone to their statements? Women use more tag questions? Women are more likely to begin with a question? Women use more qualifiers?

I believe it. But why is it?

Are women less confident than men? Do they want to seem more agreeable, so they ask questions to figure out the other’s opinion? Is it because they want to start a conversation? Or do we just like to talk, so we ask unnecessary questions to spit out more words?

The book states that “women do much of the work in starting and maintaining conversations.” We do this because we value interaction and communication. I guess questioning is just one easy way of keeping a conversation going.

Changes in the Family Structure

This week we read an article on Immigrants from Mexico. Its main focus was to talk about why these families come to the United States and how it affects their family structure. I could not believe the negative effects immigration could have. These families come to the U.S. for better education and job opportunities, basically to enhance their lifestyle. Many families even split up because it is so important to them. In many families, the father will go to America by himself, find a job, then send the family money until they have earned enough to bring the rest of the family. The problem is that this process often takes years. One teenager said his family was split up for six years. But the real sad part is that when the family is reunited, the parents likely divorce and the children won’t have a positive relationship with the father. During all that time apart, the rest of the family had to adjust the structure of the family without the father. He may feel out of place or unnecessary when he returns. And that is the end of their family together.

I believe there is a lesson to be learned from this sad, but true story. The family as a whole is important. These Mexican homes were destroyed because they focused more on increasing their social standing than keeping the family together. We must keep a righteous perspective and remember what is really important in life.